Looking towards next school year

I wanted to participate in this weeks Top Ten discussion of “Ten reasons I am excited about this new school year” But to be honest {and I feel horrible in saying it} I’m just not that excited about it.

Maybe because I’m still not entirely over this year. I still have the baggage of unfinished curriculum and the fact that some of that work is still sitting in their workboxes in our school room waiting for day when I dredge up enough gusto to go re-organize or convince the kiddos that schooling in July is fun.

But  most likely it’s because last year was such a struggle with Zack and school. Everyday it was like pulling teeth to get him to do his work. It didn’t matter that I was practically standing on my head juggling sight words, phonics games, math facts and read alouds to get him excited about learning. He just wasn’t.

The thought of dragging him kicking and screaming through the school day doesn’t excite me.

I have even daydreamed about putting him in school {wince}. I’m just being honest. Of course I don’t believe this is the “magic fix”, but at least I wouldn’t feel like I was to blame for his lack of love for learning, I wouldn’t feel like… I was the failure. {sigh} All those careful eyes that have silently been watching me, already questioning my judgment could turn their focus elsewhere. Of course I would never dare…or would I?

I take this before the Lord almost daily. I know we will get through it,  I can already hear the words of countless wise women, women whom I respect and love, sharing their encouraging words and thoughts with years of homeschooling or childrearing behind them -reminding me that he is still young. I have time. Don’t stress, he will come around.

And I know that they are right. He doesn’t have to love school, as much as it kills me to say that and hurts my pride just a little…I’ll admit. But I want him to love learning. I want to find what he delights in and give him the opportunity to grow that. That will be my project for the new year.

So although I haven’t mustered up the excitement about the new year –just yet, I’m trusting that I will come around. After all, who doesn’t like a fresh start?

Linking up with Many Little Blessings 10 Reasons I’m excited about the new school year.

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5 Responses

  1. First of all, I think it’s vital to your sanity to take a good break and mentally regroup after a tough year. So do what you need to do, even if it means starting a little later.

    But I hear you on wanting our kids to love and enjoy school. My youngest, who I’ve always homeschooled, does love it. Not every moment, and there is grumbling about certain things, but overall, she loves it. My teen, on the other hand, hates school. Mostly that comes from years of bad experience in public school (long story), but it is deeply ingrained in her to hate everything related to school. Every now and then, though, she lets her guard down and I catch her enjoying something. Those moments are priceless.

    All that to say, hang in there. It is hard. But you CAN do it. (hugs)

  2. Sounds like you deserve a break! Good luck to you. I’ve never homeschooled so I don’t have tons of advice, but I did teach public school with many kids who had already learned to hate school — what often got me through tough days was making sure we always did at least one thing *I* loved — music, read alouds, poetry, dance. Then even if the rest of the day was horrible, I could enjoy part of the day. And think students really pick up on what you enjoy — passion and joy is contagious.

  3. I stopped by from the linkup – and I am so glad I did; yours has been by far the most honest and heartfelt post I’ve read so far.

    I, too, have a “reluctant learner” in some ways, and much like Jamie’s comment above, in her case it’s due to her experiences in public school. But now that she’s home, I feel as you do – that it’s “on me” to change that.

    That’s a lot of pressure – and all I can say is I hear you and I’ll be praying Hebrews 12:1 over you!

  4. Take your break, for as long as you need. You’ll know when to start back. I’ve learned that my oldest son hasn’t liked school in the past because he actually has an auditory dysfunction, and has dylexic tenadancies. I discovered that he was overloaded while trying to work against the challenges he faced. When I took away a lot of the writing, he began to enjoy his work. When I let him choose what he wants to learn about, he began to enjoy learning. And most precious in my eyes, since reading is hard for him, when I let him choose his readers, he wants to read. His attitude is much better about school. Most importantly, our attitudes are better towards each other. With his diagnosis, I now know that he wasn’t trying to be difficult with me, and he’s not a lazy kid. Perhaps there’s a deeper issue with your son that might answer his lack of desire to learn? Just a thought, good luck, and prayers coming your way!

    Love your blog!

  5. […] The new school year is upon us! And although I will mourn the loss of summer I’m excited about another new beginning.  Quite a change from where I was at just a few short weeks ago. […]

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