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ok, I may not be a bad mom but I definately have issues!

Here is how it started. I’m sitting in bible study one morning and somebodies phone goes off. It was the second time a phone went off and my mind starts on a bunny trail of… Wouldn’t it be strange if everyones  phone started going off at once, what if everyones phone went off because there was some kind of bomb that when ignited made that happen. And if there was a bomb how would I get to the children? I then planned my route.  I soon decided that there was no way I would be able to get to all of them. So sadly I thought I would probably go to Zack and Zoe’s room first because they were together. But somehow in my mind I was only able to grab Zoe and Olivia-maybe Zack was being stubborn and wouldn’t move fast enough??? My trail then led me to being back at home and having to pass by Zack’s room every day without him being there and how infinitely sad that would make us all but especially Zoe. This is the point that I actually started crying sitting right there in bible study, all because a phone went off.

God defiantly has a sense of humor because not even 2 minutes after this ridiculous episode in my head Beth Moore (the author of the study) begins to speak on fears.  And how Satan threatens us with those fears over and over again. She challenged us to face the question If _______ happens then ________ .  Meaning even if the very worst of our fears actually transpires (which statistically it will not) what will happen next, then next, then next and where will we be ultimately at in the end. As devastating as it might be I know that at the end of my crisis I will be ok because I will be in God’s hands. Obviously one of my fears is death of a loved one. But Hebrews 2:14-15 gives me great hope.

14Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil— 15and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.


4 Responses

  1. Angela,

    I think we have those morbid thoughts, some more real than others. You need to talk to Dena about Kaylee’s first night away from home today! I have a habit of thinking of “the worst thing that could happen” and I believe everyone does. I even take it so far as to wonder about my grandkids, if the parent is watching them so they are safe and so on and so on. You are correct. We have to put our worst fears aside and believe and trust that God will be behind us in every situation. I also think losing a loved one is one of my worst fears.

  2. Oh my gosh, let me tell you about my fears! I fear school shootings, of burglers breaking into house at night, of fires and jumping from the windows, of car accidents and not wearing seatbelts. I fear Taylor getting hurt outside by herself and me not hearing her.
    Kaylee is at her first overnight tonight and it is at a hotel with her friends family, I fear they will call and say she drowned in the pool and there was nothing they could do to save her.
    I got some more but they involve Stephen King ideas.

  3. What Beth Moore study are you doing? I’m doing one of hers on the fruit of the spirit called Living Beyond Yourself.

  4. I didn’t even know you had a blog. I am so behind. It is so true about fear though. I get pretty ridiculous what I can come up with. It was a wonderful bible study and I find myself going back over it often.

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